A Moment of Truth

I am down.  I am stressed.  I am overwhelmed.  I am trying to pretend I am none of those things.  It isn't working.

The ex-husband is arriving by plane on Thursday evening for a visit.  All of the painting and decorating are for his benefit.  I am never going to have it done enough that I feel it will pass muster.  He owns this house and I rent it from him.  So, I always feel like it has to be a showplace.

He hasn't been here for a visit in 4 years.  The kids haven't seen him in 2 years.  So, I am happy this visit is happening for them.  I posted previously about how out of touch he gets at times.  They need to know him more than they do.

If I am very very very painfully honest I will admit that I am heavier since the last time I saw him.  It only matters because he won't have the tact to not mention it.  I can't drop eleventy million pounds before he shows up.

I am considering going to the doctor and asking for a few "help me through" anti anxiety pills.  I don't want to be miserable while he is here.  We stay together as a family when he is here.  I know this sounds odd to many people.  We go out as a family, dinner, movies, shopping.  He stays here at the house sleeping one night in each boys room.  Friday, the older boys will still attend school and he and I will be alone all day with just the baby as a buffer.

Any prayers and "help me through it" pills will be greatly appreciated.

Whining over.

Black Friday

We had an excellent holiday. The food was good, as usual.  The kids were a little restless when we made them watch the parade, they can be little scrooges in that way.  It was a very relaxing low key holiday.  I am so thankful for my family.  I feel so undeserving of the blessings in my life.  God has been good to me.

I am being so lazy today.  Traditionally, we put up Christmas decorations today, but I don't think I have it in me.  I think I could sleep 23 hours straight.  The other hour would be spent getting up to pee.

I will be back with something worth reading when all the turkey gets out of my system.



Feeling Groovy or is that Gravy?

I am so so ready for Thanksgiving.  Mom and I went over the list together to decide who is making what today.  I am actually getting off easy.  Ok, I get off easy every year.  My dad does the bird although it gets cooked in my oven.  Mom does most of the desserts and side dishes.  I have graduated from only the relish tray to relish tray, muffins, potatoes, and a few other minor things.  I am really spoiled when it comes to holiday meals.  My mother is an amazing cook and loves to do it.

The boys stayed home from school today.  I think we got some bad burgers last night at the McD's drive thru.  There were some unhappy tummies here today.  All is well now.  Everybody is sleeping like a baby, even the baby.

Random thought:
Whole grain Goldfish crackers are just as yummy as the original.


I hate it when people think they know more about something than I know I know.

I am pretty smart sometimes, honestly.

I have been working very hard with Jack on saying new consonants.  His favorite is M.  I have been saying
B and P to him a great deal.  If he says Mama I say Baba.  That kind of thing.  And he has picked them up.  He still isn't saying any word words, but he is improving.

I am very very impressed and happy about that.  But, I don't think he is "talking" now.  Some people disagree and think I shouldn't even bother signing with him anymore.


Go Empty Your Bladder First

Send your own ElfYourself eCards


It's been pretty hectic lately.  I am trying to get the house nice for the holidays and the ex husband's visit.  Things are getting busier at church, also holiday related.  The kids have so much homework all the time.  Now, poor Jack has developed double ear infections.  He is miserable.  Of course, the antibiotic is tearing up his stomach.  The sad thing is that he just had an ear infection in the right ear 3 weeks ago.

But, at this very moment it is quiet.  I have a cup of yummy coffee.  I can hear the hum of the furnace and the quiet clicking of the clothes dryer as it works.  I try every day to remember how grateful I am for the good things we have.  God is really awesome in how He handles things for me when I am too weak.  I know many people that are going through hard times right now.

I need those people to know that when I say I will or am praying for you, I mean it.  I think that is thrown around kind of flip.  Perhaps like "I love you".  People say it, but do they do it?  Every night as I lay down to sleep, I spend twenty minutes or so praying.  I feel so content and peaceful knowing that although I can't do much, this is something I can do.  

I am not ashamed to ask for prayer either.  January 1st I am going to be begging for it as I assume the position of Childrens Chairperson to the Ed board at church.  I have to handle VBS.  You KNOW I am gonna need prayer.  

I don't know why I needed to post about this, but I love all those I pray for and sometimes its good to let them know how much they are being cared for by God as well as by me.

One word and counting

New Wall Color

Still not done as you can see by the junk on the counter back there, but it's coming along.  My hands are killing me.  My joints hate decorating apparently.  My mom managed to find two more awesome paint colors in the rejects at Wal-Mart that I will use to do the main bathroom and one of the boys bedrooms.  Then I will rest on Thanksgiving week.  Or wait...I will cook on Thanksgiving week.

Just kidding with the complaining.  I LOVE repainting and decorating.  And cooking for that matter.


It is after midnight and I am just now sitting down. I have been painting the family room and kitchen (they are kind of one long room really) As a mommy, I have to paint when it is convenient for everyone else (read the toddler) So, after about 4 hours or so, I have most of it done. The breakfast nook needs another coat and my dad will do the really high part near the ceiling in the kitchen for me tomorrow. He is 6'7" so no sweat.

My mom actually picked the color first and I loved it. It is called Summer Pecan and reminds me of coffee with a bit of cream in it. It's very warm and cozy. In yesterday's picture of Elijah, you can see the butter yellow that has been on the walls for about 2 years. I love it, but with all the wall climbing going on it was pretty dinged up.

I will post pictures when it is all done and prettyfied.

Enjoy your Tuesday. I will be painting.

I Am Jaded.

Only another Mother of multiple boys will understand why this didn't even make me flinch.
You turn your back for one second.


Many things that I want to participate in at church are happening while my ex husband is in town.  I am trying to accept that as God's Will.

Heard in church today "From the time an infant struggles to get his toes in his mouth, life is a struggle to make both ends meet."

Today, the church gave my 3 older sons new bibles.  They are awesome .

They give bibles to those that have a need due to situation or if a child has moved up in age and needs a more pertinant version.  My boys all received a bible geared specifically for teen boys.  It's exciting.

Jack and I are off to nap.  I am beat.  Take a moment to pray today for those you love and those you don't love so much.


Fourteen years ago, at this moment I was lying in a hospital bed so sad.  My water had broken, but nothing was happening.  No contractions, nothing, nada.  It would take much pitocin and hard work to bring him into the world about 20 hours later.
Tomorrow my oldest son will be 14.  He is turning into an excellent human being.  His only birthday gift request was an electric guitar.  He said it could be both birthday and christmas.  He got his wish.

Happy Birthday, Nico.  I love you so much and I am so proud of you.

The Silence of the ...

Today, two social workers for Early On  came to the house to evaluate Jack.  He was shy at first, but warmed up to them well.  One of them did things with Jack and the other observed, taking notes I think.  She had him stack blocks, find blocks hidden under a cup, put blocks and cheerios into containers, identify eyes on a stuffed animal, and other things like that.  Of course, he was silent throughout.  He wouldn't say Mama which is his one word.

They were very impressed with his signs.  He did a few spontaneously for them in the course of play.  Then I listed all that I could remember that he knows and uses.  They liked the one for hippo.

Based on how he scored, he is a smart baby.  Above age level in all areas....except speech.  Normally, they would include the signs known as words.  In that case, he is well above age level in language.  Most babies verbalize (even if not correctly) while performing a sign after they have known a sign for awhile.  So, in that case he is way behind for speech.

They used words like perplexed.  They didn't know what to think of him.  So, end result is he must see the Speech Therapist.  She will be better able to evaluate him.  They think he might need a swallow study or a detailed exam of his mouth and tongue.

He was awesome thoughout and waved goodbye to them as he blew kisses.  After we closed the door, he walked away and said, "MAMA"

Little Stinker!!!

A New Week Begins

Sorry, for being quiet, but I don't think many are reading at the moment anyhoo.  I have been sick with the cold that is running rampant through my family.  But, I am so much better now.  So, of course, I fall in the front yard this morning and break my right big toe.  Thank goodness it's just a toe.

Nico is doing so well in school.  He has 4 A's, 1 B, and 1 C+.  I can't believe what a turn around he has made this year.

Elijah and Skyler had conferences this past week and both are doing well but not as good as they could be.  I went through this with Nico, but I told them not to wait until they are in 9th grade to get it together.  

Jackson is well and happy.  He is using his signs really well, but still not talking.  The most recent sign video shows that he makes sounds, but not words.  He is such a cutie.  This Wednesday we are seeing speech people to evaluate him to see if I am being picky or he really is delayed.
We all got our flu shots this week.  They went really well.

The ex husband arrives on December 4th for a 3 day visit.  He has actually booked the flight and sent me the confirmation email.  I am so glad he is coming.  The big boys really miss him.  Now, I have to paint and repair and clean carpets and wash pets and rake leaves and .......

Well, you get the idea.  Lots to do lots to do.

Today, I am blessed and happy and grateful to God for everything he does for me.  Big and small.

How is your life going?

Mother of Invention

When you are at your mom's house and your 14 month old decides to have a poop-a-paloza you might run out of diapers.  Use your imagination and make a "ghetto diaper"

I used a hospital "chuck pad" and a panty liner and scotch tape.  I am not joking.

It only had to last for the car ride home for more diapers.


Pins and Needles.

I voted.

Now I am glued to ABC on the TV and CNN on the internets.

And praying.

I hope everyone had a wonderful day and went to vote.
Vote Tomorrow!!!!!!
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