Have a heart

In six hours I will leave to have my heart cath done.  I should be asleep right now, but can't.  I am worried.  All day long people have been assuring me.  "Everything will be alright", they have said.  And in all likelihood, they are right.  I am just worried about that small margin of what if.  Worry is normal and I am trying to just acknowledge it for what it is and move on.

Tonight was not an easy night.  My sons are worried too and were not being kind to each other.  One of my children has been having a rough time of it lately and was really being defiant tonight.  I tried to have a calm discussion with him to get to the root of the problem  Hormones, puberty, what??  He calmly stated that his main issue is that he just doesn't like me.


He and I have butted heads for years, our personalities are very different and we struggle with that.  I told him that I didn't like my mom either for many of my teen years.  He says he has never liked me and mostly likely never will.

I wish they could fix that kind of broken heart tomorrow.

I hope to be back here posting that all is well tomorrow night, but if I am not, don't panic.  They might keep me overnight or more.

Thanks for all the well wishes.
2 Responses
  1. Sleep Goblin Says:

    Oh honey. I'm so sorry. Don't let that stop you from being a parent. I thought I hated my mom and step-dad growing up, and it turns out we just don't belong in the same house. Now we're just peachy.

  2. Monica,

    I hope by this time you are well into recovery and glad to have the whole heart thing behind you.

    And please don't worry much about what your son said. I think *every* teenager goes through that at some point. I agree with the other commenter...sometimes it just takes a little distance to soften the relationship.

    Speedy recovery to you!


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