.

Then he goes through phases of trying to catch up and jump back into the kids lives.  He is in one of those right now.  He is talking about coming up to visit for Thanksgiving.  That is awesome.  I hope he can.  The boys haven't seen him in two years.  TWO YEARS!

He and I have talked on the phone for hours lately as he tries to figure out how to "jump back in".  I want to be there for him because I want him in the kids lives.  But,  I am fighting the fear and anger.  Fear that he will visit and then be out of their lives again for another two years.  And anger that he goes through these cycles.

So, I am praying for patience.  Patience to deal with this in the right way.  I don't want to set myself back in my relationship with God by dealing with this badly.  I know God forgives, but I don't think hate and anger are going to help me much.  

He isn't a bad person.  Just another human trying to make it in this world.